20 Mar Hooked on Being Right
I used to work with a guy named Craig, who could never be wrong. In normal work situations he was quite nice, but when he felt like he might possibly be at fault for something, he would argue black and blue that he was right.
He would win each battle but was losing the war.
Unfortunately, he was a bit of a sacred cow, because of the revenue he brought into the company. But, after suffering it for some time, eventually, colleagues grew tired of his behaviour and threatened to leave unless something was done. It escalated to a conversation with the Managing Director who gave him a choice: stay and change, or go elsewhere.
Do you have a colleague who can’t be wrong? Is your management letting someone get away with poor behaviour? Do meetings descend into a shambles and you feel unprotected? Or, are you the one who gets worked up and won’t back down?
An old friend of mine who is a corporate coach often says, “People are more concerned with being right than they are being rich!”
I have thought this a bit of a gauche phrase, but it appears he was right. According to Judith Glaser, in a Harvard Business Review article, we are evolutionarily wired to be right.
Wait a second… that means my friend is both rich and right. As Robert Palmer sang, “Some guys have all the luck!”
Glaser shares that we are addicted to being right, because it replicates the “fight” process in fight or flight and gives off rewarding chemicals in the brain, such as dopamine and adrenaline. These hormones make us feel powerful compared to the cortisol that fires off in flight or freeze.
This scientific evidence fits perfectly with Chapter 5 on Significance Positioning in my best-selling book Emotional Judo®: Communication Skills to Handle Difficult Conversations and Boost Emotional Intelligence.
Significance is a human need and is often poorly recognised and managed in difficult conversations. As a result, people can get charged up emotionally and difficult conversations are made more difficult.
Emotional Judo® is all about managing the issue of significance and the emotions that stem from that. If you can manage your own and others’ emotions in difficult conversations you will be able to have more productive conversations where people feel
Furthermore, if you are in a position of power and you haven’t mastered your need to be right or significant, then you will force your way over your people with dominance.
My colleague, Craig was able to turn the corner by using some of the ten tools contained in Emotional Judo®: Communication Skills to Handle Difficult Conversations and Boost Emotional Intelligence. He saved his job and gained more respect within the organisation.
It’s on Amazon Kindle or Paperback at present but if you would like to get it for free, it will be free for 1 day on 21 March to 7pm Sydney time.
I can’t promise you will become financially rich as a result, but you might grow rich with wisdom!